My Life as a Spiritual Prostitute
My Life as a Spiritual Prostitute
Honey, let me tell you about my scandalous spiritual affair with the universe!
The Divine Hook-Up
Oh sweetie, I've been around the spiritual block more times than a roulette wheel in a hurricane. I've flirted with meditation, had steamy one-night stands with crystal healing, and gone all the way with manifestation techniques that would make your third eye blush!
Selling My Soul... On Discount!
Let's get real for a hot second — we've ALL been spiritual prostitutes. You know exactly what I'm talking about! That time you pretended to be "so zen" around your yoga friends while secretly wanting to throat-punch your boss? SPIRITUAL PROSTITUTION, darling!
That Instagram post of your meditation corner (that you set up just for the photo)? Charging by the hour, honey!
My Spiritual Sugar Daddies
I've had more spiritual phases than Madonna has had reinventions:
New Age Nancy: Carried rose quartz in my bra and blamed Mercury retrograde when I texted my ex.
"It wasn't me, it was cosmic alignment!"
Wellness Wendy: Spent half my paycheck on adaptogenic mushroom powders that tasted like dirt but made me feel "enlightened" (or was that just light-headed from hunger?).
Manifestation Mary: Wrote affirmations like "I am wealthy" while my credit card screamed in agony. The only thing I manifested was an impressive collection of self-help books!
The Spiritual Walk of Shame
The morning after spiritual intoxication hits HARD. That moment when you realize you've been chanting mantras you don't understand to impress people you don't even like? Awkward!
Finding My Authentic Spiritual Sugar
Here's the deal, served scalding hot: I finally realized I was spiritually sleeping around because I hadn't found my true divine match. When you're sampling every spiritual flavor because none of them truly satisfies you... that's spiritual prostitution, baby!
Now I'm in a committed relationship with my own truth. Sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's divine, but it's ALWAYS authentically mine. No more faking spiritual orgasms or pretending I understand what "quantum field" actually means!
The Happy Ending (Not THAT Kind!)
These days, my spiritual practice is like my coffee — strong, dark, no sugar coating, and absolutely essential to my functioning. I've stopped selling (and giving away) my spiritual self to the highest bidder of approval and started being real.
And honey, authentic spirituality? It's the best relationship I've ever had. No payment required.
Just a recovering spiritual prostitute, now in an exclusive relationship with her truth
