Surviving Your Second Saturn Return: Because the Universe Clearly Has a Sense of Humor
Oh honey, buckle up—because if you thought your first Saturn Return was a cosmic wake-up call, your second one is the universe sliding into your DMs like, "Hey bestie, missed me? Let’s burn it all down again. 😘"
For those blissfully unaware, a Saturn Return happens when Saturn completes its ~29-year orbit and returns to the same spot it was in when you were born. The first one (late 20s/early 30s) is like life slapping you with a reality check. The second one (late 50s/early 60s)? Oh, it’s personal.
🚀 What to Expect When Saturn’s Back in Town
Existential Crises Galore – Suddenly, you’re questioning everything. Your career? Your relationships? That questionable life choice from 1997? Saturn’s like, "Let’s revisit that, shall we?"
The Great Unraveling – Jobs, friendships, even your favorite sweatpants—nothing is safe. Saturn doesn’t believe in “comfort zones.”
Sudden Urge to Move to Bali – Or become a goat farmer. Or write a memoir. Midlife crisis? No, darling, this is spiritual evolution.
Your Body Betrays You – Knees crack, metabolism nopes out, and suddenly you need reading glasses. Thanks, Saturn.
🔥 How to Survive (and Maybe Even Thrive)
✔ Embrace the Chaos – Saturn’s not here to destroy you (okay, maybe a little). It’s here to force growth. Lean in.
✔ Release What No Longer Serves You – Toxic relationships? Outdated beliefs? That pile of junk in your garage? Let. It. Go.
✔ Get Real About Legacy – What do you want to leave behind? A life well-lived or a collection of grudges? Your call.
✔ Laugh at the Absurdity – Because if you don’t, you’ll cry. And Saturn hates whining.
💫 Final Thought: You’ve Got This
Your first Saturn Return taught you how to adult. This one? It’s teaching you how to live. So grab your metaphorical (or literal) wine, put on your sassiest playlist, and remember—this too shall pass. And when it does, you’ll be wiser, fiercer, and way more interesting on coffee dates.
Now go forth and conquer, you celestial warrior. Saturn’s watching… and low-key impressed. 😏
